Massimo the Maltese
Massimo owns Janice Hoffmann (Stories by Janus), and calculus textbook author turned limericist, Laurence Hoffmann. They cohabit in Claremont, CA.
Massimo came on the scene,
and in dog years, he now is a teen.
He eats all his food
but doesn’t grow as he should.
He remains tiny and lean.
Massimo did not gain weight
despite all the dog food he ate
the turkey was nice
but he spit out the rice
for a plump dog, we’ll just have to wait.
Massimo plays with his food
When we’d rather it be well-chewed
It is served on a plate
But is moved to the slate,
yet, when gone, its absence is rued.
Massimo is very good;
He does everything that he should.
He sits, and he stays;
He runs, and he plays,
but he still doesn’t eat enough food.
Massimo came down with fleas.
His skin itched like busy bees,
so we went to the vet
(that's a doc for a pet),
and got powders that put him at ease
Massimo went to the vet
They poked him and pinched him, and yet,
He did not complain
and endured every pain
All in all, he is such a good pet
Massimo loves his routine,
For order he is very keen.
He wants a replay,
like in Groundhog Day
And avoids things that are unforeseen.
The gardeners were out on the lawn,
but Massimo wished they were gone.
They mowed, and they blowed,
and they raked, and they hoed.
He thought that they stayed much too long.
Massimo barked at the door
but wouldn’t say what he saw.
(It rhymes if you have a NY accent.)
A cat or a bear? Or maybe a hare?
We wish he would use his words more.
Massimo likes to be mindful.
The practice makes him feel kindful.
He sits, and he knows it;
is calm, and he shows it.
He feels strong, like the tower of Eiffel.
Massimo watches TV.
“Slow Horses” & “Professor T.”
He likes a good story
if it isn’t too gory,
but colors he never can see.
Massimo went to Palm Springs
to find sunshine and cacti and things.
He lay by the pool
And obeyed the gag rule
And never left mom’s apron strings.
Massimo’s such a good boy.
His lamb is his favorite toy.
He throws it around.
And then rolls on the ground.
Watching him brings us great joy.
“A box came from Chewy.com!
I hope it’s a present from Mom!
It is! A new bed!
Feels good on my head!”
Massimo knows how to turn on the charm.
Thanks to Diana Lundin, Fine Art Pet Photography, my photographer and friend. I’m sure you can tell which ones are hers and which are mine.
I grew up with Bichon Frisés. Some people make fun of the owners of white and fluffy dogs, but they’re great companions.
Massimo is one lucky pooch!